how to get employees to do what you want them to do
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A lot of people come up to work with me because they feel stuck, and they want to alter their life. Just one of the first obstacles we come across is that when I enquire them what they want their life to await like, they often don't know.
Knowing what you want is the commencement and nearly important step in creating a better future. Only how do you brand this important conclusion? Trying to decide what you want in a world full of and then many choices can seem overwhelming.
On the other mitt, about people have a very practiced thought of what they don't want in life. We look effectually and meet all the terrible things happening in the world, and we realize we don't desire war, we don't want poverty, we don't want sickness.
We look at our own lives and think about the things that don't feel right, such as the boss who nags, the spouse who isn't supportive, the kids who don't listen, or the empty checking account. Y'all may accept thoughts similar: "I don't want to exist poor," "I don't desire to work at this lousy job where no one appreciates me," or "I don't want to take to deal with the screaming kids who never listen."
The good news is if you can identify what you lot don't want, knowing what you do want is definitely inside your reach. To perceive anything, there must be a contrast between the 2 states. To know that something is unwanted, we must know that something else is wanted instead. One serves as the reference point for the other.
For example, we could non place the wanted state of happiness if we did not know what it was similar to experience the unwanted country of existence unhappy. The reason y'all can identify what you don't desire is that you lot are aware some other, preferable state exists, otherwise y'all wouldn't know information technology was unwanted. Yous simply have to give more of your attending to the wanted state and requite it some clarity.
Once you have identified what you don't want, see if you can flip it over and find the contrasting wanted state. If y'all don't desire to alive in the city, possibly it is because you prefer a slower land footstep. If yous don't want to work in a retail job, just yous aren't sure what kind of job you would like, write down equally many details equally you can about what y'all don't like in retail. For instance, "I don't similar retail because information technology's exhausting to stand up on my feet all twenty-four hours. Instead, I would like a job where I could spend more fourth dimension at a desk."
Once you have identified what you don't want, ask yourself: What would I like to see instead?
Examples:
Don't want: I don't desire a spouse who doesn't appreciate me.
Want: I want a spouse who adores me and treats me with respect.
Don't want: I don't desire to piece of work at this lousy job.
Desire: I want a job that stimulates me intellectually and allows me to be creative.
Get equally specific every bit possible. Once you have decided you lot want a task that is stimulating and creative, start thinking virtually other aspects of the task you would like, such as independence, a lot of interaction with coworkers, increased responsibility, a better bacon. The more details yous include, the more specific you can be in developing the program and the steps necessary to achieve your goal.
A worksheet to help with this tin can exist plant here.
Deciding what you want today does not hateful yous can't modify your mind tomorrow. Often, we remember we want something, but as nosotros find out more about it, we change our minds. Consider this a success, not a failure. It doesn't hateful you don't know what yous want; it means you know you lot desire something else instead.
Focus on that "something else instead," and go in that direction. Deciding that you don't desire something that you thought you did, just means you are making a more informed conclusion with new data that wasn't available to y'all earlier; it is non the same as giving up when things go difficult.
As well, keep in heed there is no final destination in life. Every time you lot obtain something you want, you take a new perspective from which to see other possibilities. Choosing something you want doesn't mean you surrender all other possibilities; it means you open the door to possibilities you didn't know existed.
If yous find yourself looking at your list of wants and saying, I don't really believe I tin have what I want, then you have a dissimilar consequence about your expectations of the future. You act on what you expect, non what y'all want—so your expectations need to align with your wants, or you won't be able to achieve them.
To work on changing your expectations, y'all may wish to cheque out my TEDx talk on exactly this topic or read my book Call up Forward to Thrive, which is all about developing the skills yous need to create a meliorate future.
References
Vilhauer, Jennice (2014). Think Forrad to Thrive: How to Utilise the Mind's Power of Anticipation to Transcend Your By and Transform Your Life. New World Library. Novato, CA.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201909/how-figure-out-what-you-want-in-life
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